EvictedFionna and Cake
by MegaFanaticFangirl104201
Summary: First story in here. So anyway this is the episode 'Evicted' and I gender-bent it. I suck at sumaries, so skip to the story instead.


"…Then, the Vampire smashed their skulls! Just for fun." Cake says.

"No way!" I exclaim.

Cake grins evilly. "Yes way. And then he hunched over his victims and sucked out their blood mist!" Cake makes a spooky noise by warbling her tongue. I grimace. "Ugh, gross! Cake, is this junk true? Or you're just messing me up? You have to be honest."  
Cake nods warily. "Oh, it's true, girl. I heard it from a _reliable_ source!" I grip my blanket tightly. "Reliable? Aw, snap!"

"They say a Vampire had haunted this tree," says Cake. She wiggles her arms.

"THIS TREE?!" I yell in horror.  
She turns off the lights and light a candle. "Good night…" she says ominously. From downstairs I can hear her warbling her tongue.  
"Cake!" I say, "you're full of it, Cake!" She just warbles louder.

I sigh and pull the covers over me. I hear a strange noise. I get up to see a worm crawling across my bed. "Hey!" I shout, "no worms on the bed!" The worm pauses and stares at me. I take advantage of that, grab the nearest pillow and chuck it at the worm.  
I frown and try to go back to sleep again. This time I'm interrupted by the sound of tapping on the windows. It's a tree branch.  
Then a figure appears and taps on the glass. When I squint to get a better look, lightning flashes and illuminates the figure's face. I screech as loud as I can and grab the nearest flashlight. I race downstairs. Cake was making catnip tea. "Cake!" I gasp, "the vampire! The vampire's real!"

Cake chuckles. "Girl, relax! I was messing you up. The whole story was a hoax. The part about the 'reliable source' was made up too."  
I shake her. "I'm not kidding! He's there-"  
Suddenly the window bursts open and some rain and cold air get in. Cake screams and falls on the floor. "It was only the wind, you scaredy-cat." I tease. "I wasn't screaming, I was…err…singing my scream song," she claims as she gets up.  
"Whatever, dude," I snicker as I go to close the window. Suddenly a bag drops in front of us. We yelp in surprise. Still shaking, I shine the flashlight on the ceiling. There he was- the Vampire! We scream again.

He laughs when he saw us scared out of our wits. "Hey guys, what's up?" he says, "I'm Marshall Lee, the Vampire King."  
I did calm down a little, but Cake's fur is still standing on end. "Are you gonna smash our skulls and breathe in our blood mist?" she meows.  
Marshall Lee smirks. "Calm down, weenies, I'm not gonna do that."  
"So…you don't suck blood?"  
"Sometimes I do," he says, "but it's not the blood that I like; it's the color. I eat shades of red." Then he pulls out a strawberry from out of nowhere a sucks out the color, leaving it a dull gray color. He shoves it into my mouth. It tastes the same except it was a little dry. "Jeez," I say.

He floats to where the bag dropped. "Ugh, I'm exhausted. I've been travelling all over the Land of Aaa, and I've got some stuff that'd really make you say 'like what'."  
"Like what?" I ask, the strawberry still in my mouth.  
Marshall Lee grins. "I found a school of Goldfish Beasts, and I fooled around the Fire Kingdom."  
"Whoa!" I exclaim.  
He reaches inside his bag and pulls out some nuts. "Oh, and check these out."  
"Uh…nuts?"  
"Dude, these aren't just ordinary nuts." He cracks them open and they turn into little creatures. They crawl up his arm and back into the nuts.  
"You're so cool," I say.  
Cake shivers. "Um, yeah. Th-thank you for not sucking our blood."  
"You guys seem okay too. But as you can see, I'm beat. So you guys should get going."

I frown. "Wait, what?"  
He sighs. He lifts up his finger and a poster drops to the floor. There's a letter M carved in it. "M for Marshall Lee."  
Cake's fur frizzes again. "Aw man,"  
He rolls his eyes. "I carved it in this tree years ago before you two started squatting here."  
He carried us out of the tree fort and leaves us there in the rain. "But seriously guys, thanks for keeping the place warm."

I glare at him as he floats back up. He sucks the red out of a crumpet and tosses it at me. It hits my head. I growl.  
"Good night!" he sings out and slams the windows shut. "Come on, Fi," Cake says worriedly, "let's get outta here!"  
"He can't kick us out of OUR house!" I yell.  
"Fionna!"  
"Get down here and fight me, dude!" I pound on the door.  
"Fionna!" she shakes me, "if half the stories I've heard and made up are true, Vampires will kill you!"  
"I'm so going to kill him."  
When I look up, he hisses, cackles, and then walks away.  
"Come on, girl. We're gonna go house hunting."  
I frown at her. "But I like our home," I argue.  
"Fi, house hunting is WILD! Try it."  
I look at her. "Really?"  
"Yeah, girl. It is so nuts!"  
I giggle. "You don't know nuts when you say it." Then she stretches over me like a roof and blurts out, "Bla-bla-bla-ble-ble-bla-bloo-bloop! I laugh. " 'Kay, I'm in," I walk under her. "Things are gonna start to go our way." As soon as she spoke, the rain went away and the sun began to rise.

"See? What'd I tell ya?" she grins.  
We tried a normal-looking house, but a giant lived in it. There was a birdhouse, a Cloud couple's house, a beehive, a shell, we even crossed paths with Ice Queen, and lots more than that.  
"This. Is. Weak! I didn't even like any of these places. I wanna go home," I cry.  
Cake puts out her dulcimer and begins to sing. "Home isn't a place, let me give you a clue; Home is a place, where I care about you…"  
I cut her off. "I don't want to her a lecture! I just want to go home."

"But home is where you heart is, Fionna! And where is your heart, Fi? Well, it's right here inside you, while I'm sitting here beside you!" Then she starts to talk normally again, "With your lucky star to guide you from above."  
A star pops out from between two planets. I laugh and try to sing along too. "I guess I'd rather be here wrapped in your ear, than some awesome house; all by my…souse."  
Cake giggles. "I'd rather be dancing with some hotties!" I giggle too. "Aw, shut up dude!" We entered a big cave. It was all dirty and full of gunk.

"EW! This place is gross!" Cake meows.  
"And abandoned," I add, and it echoes throughout the cave. Bats that covered the walls flew out of the cave. So that was the 'dirt'. They left it clean and shiny.  
I turn to Cake excitedly and ask, "Whoa sis….do you just wanna live here?" Cake nods enthusiastically.  
We spent HOURS cleaning it and fixing it up. When we were finally done we step back and look around. "Soooo… what do you think we should do now?"  
"Let's trash it and throw a party!" Cake yells.

Later we were all dancing and having fun, with almost everyone we knew invited. "Ah, this is it, feeling good. I'm feeling like…we did it, Cake. I feel totes satisfied, you know, like nothing else could go wrong."  
"Aw, yeah, sister!" Cake cries while dancing.  
While I was busy partying, a familiar voice comes out from nowhere. "Pretty cool party you got here." I whip around to see Marshall Lee floating behind us.  
"What do you want, Marshall Lee?" I yell, frustrated.  
"Oh, nothing…I just want to show you something," he cackles and lifts up a rock. Underneath it the letter M was carved. "This cave belongs to me!"

I scream at him, "YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR HOME TWICE!"  
"Yes I can!" he sings out while playing his bass.  
I scream again and shout, "IT'S VAMPIRE FIGHTING TIME!" Cake holds me back. "Fi! Vampires will kill you!"  
"But he's taking our home again!" I counter.  
"We're home as long as we're together! Bla-bla-ble-bloo-bloop, remember?"  
"Oh, yeah. Okay, Marshall, you can keep this cave but only because Cake's my home and she's WAY better than all your dumb homes combined!"

Marshall Lee stops for a moment. Then he grins evilly. "Yeah…I guess you're right. I'll take her too!"  
Cake yelps in surprise and shock as Marshall Lee grabs her. "Hmm… maybe I'll bite her a little? Or maybe even turn her into a zombie?"  
I growl at him. "Let her go!"  
"Make me."  
I push Cake out of his hands. "You okay, sis?" I ask as she rubs the spot where I push her. She opened her mouth when Marshall Lee turns into a hideous bat-human mutant. "No one…makes me…let go of Cake!" he screeches.  
"I'm not scared of you!"

He laughs. "You're pathetic, mortal." He laughs again as he punches me plenty of times. I fall to the ground, get ready to attack again and scream, "No, YOU'RE pathetic!" I spit on him.  
"Get ready for an uppercut, you!" I shout.  
"Make me!" he says again. So I tried to. I lunged again and tried to punch him but he just pushed me away. "Loser," he teases.  
Behind a rock Cake was watching us fight. "I gotta help Fionna!" She jumps but Marshall Lee just catches her. "Your blood's mine!"  
"Cake!" I yell as the Vampire bites her. She turns gray and wrinkly and limp. He tosses her aside. I screech again and punch him as hard as I can. "Ow!" he says, "that actually hurt, Fionna."

Then he changes back to normal and kisses my cheek. I stand up and say, "Why didn't you just kill me?"  
"Cause that was fun! I hadn't fought like that for YEARS!"  
When I turn around I see Cake running towards me. "Fionna!" I stare at her. "Wait… aren't you dead?" She grins. "Nah. Before she bit me I used my powers to shrink all my guts and blood to my thumb."  
Marshall Lee clears his throat. "You guys are pretty hardcore. I can appreciate that." I glance at him and ask, "So….can we have our old house back?"

He thinks for a moment and replies, "Yeah, keep it. As a 'gift' from me." Then he hisses. We run away screaming all the way back to the tree house.  
"AW YEAH!" I yell as we burst open the door. But when I look around the place was infested with worms! "Hey! Did you guys get on the bed? I told you, you're not allowed!"  
Then a giant worm pops out of nowhere, brainwashes us and says, "Oh, hey girls, come here, hug me. Yeah, hug me."


End file.
